Its okay to cry.

The last week has been very tough on me.  Last week we found out that my son has ADD, and that he needs to go on medication to help him.  I walked out the psychologist office and burst into tears.  And the rest of this week I cried even more.  I felt sucker-punched.  Mainly because he is already 14, and he was coping quite alright in Primary School. I definitely did not expect him to have ADD.  My thoughts was that he has some form of exam stress or something different. But that is not the case.

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So according to the Psychologist, she wants him to start on Ritalin immediately.  Obviously, I tried to find a more natural solution first.  Not wanting to medicate my child with a drug that many, many people question.  But according to her, he needs the Ritalin.  If the Ritalin does not work, she wants to send him for further testing to investigate that maybe he might have a different neurological problem.

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I can not begin to explain how that feels to a mom.  Somehow hoping that your child has, in fact, ADD and that medicating him could work, and not a neurological problem.  So this week I have been reading a lot about ADD and ADHD.  I felt that I needed to educate myself more.  I can safely say that I need to learn much more.  There are so many articles.  And I feel like there is so much information out there.

I found this article called “OMG, I Just Found Out My Son Has ADHD”

In the article Penny Williams says:

Receiving an ADHD diagnosis is tough for a parent. While ADHD isn’t a terminal illness or a physical handicap, you have the right to be sad and grieve. You’ve been blindsided, and your pain is real and valid. You just found out that your child has a neurological disorder — that something didn’t go quite right when his brain was developing — and that entitles you to sorrow. If you weren’t upset about it, that would be something to worry about.

It’s natural to grieve when your child is diagnosed with any disability. Your world has changed — either your expectations have been shattered or you realize that chaos is here to stay. While it’s necessary to go through that period of grief, you have to move beyond it.

So take a little time to be sad, angry, scared, and heartbroken. Sit in a room alone for a couple of days. Take a bubble bath until you shrivel. Cry. Scream. Recoil. It’s OK, even healthy, to be irrational for a few moments as these feelings surface. Take a few days, maybe a week, to work through your feelings about your child having ADHD.

So with that.  I have decided to cry, scream, and let it all out!  Then become stronger.  Because I am a MOM, and I signed up for this job.  And I love my son with my whole heart.  And I am determined that I need to be there for my son when he needs me.  And we will not let this get us down.

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