This is infertility.

A few days ago a friend told me, “You don’t have infertility.” This made me so angry, and sad.  Mainly because just a few weeks ago I wrote a post about Things not to say to an infertile couple. Comments like this make me feel like I should hide my infertility, or never talk about it.  People don’t understand your struggle.  Sometimes I wonder if people even care.   This comment made me ask, what is infertility?  If you google “What is infertility?” you will get approximately 25 000 results.  According to the National Infertility Association, infertility is defined as the inability to conceive or carry a pregnancy to term after 12 months of trying to conceive. But apart from all the medical facts and terms.  What is Infertility to an infertile in a fertile world?

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Dear Fertile People,
I have infertility.  I have been trying to fall pregnant for almost 4 years with my husband.  To me, infertility is when my family and friends are scared to announce their pregnancies because I end up in tears, every time.   It’s when I go out in public and all I see are pregnant women.  It’s when your facebook timeline is flooded with ultrasound pictures and photos of babies.  And instead of feeling joyful  you’re feeling sad and alone. Infertility is when people constantly ask the question, “when are you having kids?” Or when people tell you to “stop thinking about it” or “take a break”, because “it will happen when you least expect it”.

526b9bdb4aa3dc1f22651f6dcaeb6d7bInfertility is taking  lots of vitamins and researching natural remedies, changing your eating habits, multiple times.  It’s waking up to painful cramps and another period that painfully remind you another month has passed, and you’re still not pregnant.

Infertility is tears, pain, and resentment.  This is what I have dealt with every day, for almost 4 years.

I am an infertile woman.  But I have hope.

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3 thoughts on “This is infertility.

  1. coffeemomweb says:

    I am so sorry. I can only imagine and my heart goes to you and everyone else suffering from infertility. I count my blessing for the two beautiful babies I have and all the miscarriages I went through just to have them. I pray that you will get your miracle baby!

    Like

  2. The EcoFeminist says:

    If you’re up for it, tell your friend that infertility has been recognized by the World Health Organization as a disease. And if they continue to speak that way to you, that is not friendship. Too many women stay silent during this battle that we are fighting, and we need to call them out. I lost a lot of friends during this past year and a half of 6 treatments and a miscarriage ( trying another one in October), including a friend who had multiple miscarriages but refused to identify with my struggle simply because she could get pregnant but not stay pregnant… as if she were higher up on the ladder than me. And then she ghosted me.

    Hold on tight to your partner, as there will be days that you feel like the only 2 people left on Earth. But also know that there are many of us next to you in battle, who understand the hurt and frustration and anxiety, and hope to see all of us cross over into the land of Parenthood.

    Liked by 1 person

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